I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Randomize
