so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
