Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
