The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
