I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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