Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
