Im at strip club and am horny
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
