Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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