3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
that may or may not have been my penis.
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