Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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