margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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