Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
