wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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