Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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