It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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