Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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