Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
