can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
