Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
