I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
