come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
