Will you blow on my dice?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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