When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
