I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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