Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
