I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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