Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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