to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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