I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize