her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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