I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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