I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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