I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
