Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My room smells like vodka and shame
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
