My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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