I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Did I show you my penis last night?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
