my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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