I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
So vagazzling was a success
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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