My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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