so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
