Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm just crazy horny about you
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!