Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.