Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.