I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..