I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
