I can tuck mytits in my pants
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
being pregnant is like rehab
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
