i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize