How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
