It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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