i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
