Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
