So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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