You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
