remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize