Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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