I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
