ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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