Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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