matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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