You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
