Got a toothbrush?
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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