Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
