I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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