I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
