I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
