Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
