So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize