but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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