Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
